Eczema Treatment Care

Question by mIsS vIcE: Homework help! Please!?!?!?
Hi everybody!

I have some trouble with my english homework.

What mistakes do you found in the following phrase?

Thaks!!!! (k)

“”"Our goal while developing this project is to find unexploited markets, by creating original marketing strategies that will improve the market share of Sporto Company. Our company’s main objective is the maximization of profits through the final consumer’s satisfaction with a product of global excellence.
Besides being a product that takes care of environment, the use of 100% organic cotton made infant apparel can protect the skin of both our children and us. Usually babies and children are more sensitive than adults to synthetic chemicals. Given that fact, choosing clothes made with organic cotton can help to reduce your exposure to harmful chemicals for their skins and bodies. The use of organic cotton clothing for babies, it is highly recommended, since their delicate skin requires extra special care and extra soft tissues that have contact with your skin, especially in those with diseases such as atopic dermatitis.”"”

Best answer:

Answer by katbyrd41
This is English homework? Not economics, or marketing?

The first thing I find wrong with this paragraph (it’s not a phrase, it’s a paragraph, and it actually should be 2 paragraphs), is that I don’t know what it means, so helping you is difficult.

The next thing wrong with it is that it seems to be dealing with two separate and not necessarily related ideas: The first idea deals with the marketing of the product (I guess). The second idea deals with what qualities make the product desirable (I guess).

The next thing wong with it is that there are grammatical errors–nothing too serious, and some of them are matters of style more than “errors.” But I wouldn’t bother fixing those until I had the ideas sorted out and more clearly stated.

Having said all that, I don’t know what the assignment was, so these criticisms may be off base. Also having said all that, it’s not awful–it needs clarity, more than anything.

Add your own answer in the comments!

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